From time to time our readers send in questions. Most are handled privately but in the future we may use more for teaching opportunities. Jason from Wakefield, Massachusetts asks: “I really like what you say about divorce. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about two years know but I don’t know if I want to marry her. I’d like to have kids but she wants to finish her PhD first — and then maybe have kids. Should we get married?”
Jason, you’ve just about hit the nail on the head. The intent to have children is the only logical reason for two people to marry. It sounds like you want kids but she isn’t so certain. With something so important as that, you have to be on the same page. Getting married and waiting years (or decades) to have children is insane. Chances are, you’ll wreck your marriage.
My advice is to let her pursue her PhD. You should meet other people. Before you marry someone, you need to ask, “Are they going to make a great mom for my children?” The answer to that question needs to be the #1 reason you make your decision to marry or not. Hopefully the next girl you meet makes better mother material than your current girlfriend.
Anyone else with a question can email us — see our about tab.