Dad abandons mom. Mom is alone with three kids. Mom is lonely and mom is broke. How many people have you known in this situation? The easiest solution (not that anything is easy at this point) is for mom to hit the dating scene again and bring home a boyfriend for the kids to meet.
We could assume that this boyfriend is a parasite, a child abuser, a woman abuser, and overall pond scum (the concentration of such men are higher in these circles), but let’s draw the picture that he is an overall alright guy. He likes kids, he is generally respectful, has an honest job, and the truth of the matter is that he was just lonely and was attracted to mom. Great, right?
Now think back to your dating days. Did you ever date any decent people and seem to hit things off only to find that you were utterly incompatible and end-up breaking up? The break-up process is not easy. Sometimes it comes with arguments, with tears, with anxiety, even a little depression. Who would argue that there is a lot of instability that goes with this? For both mom and the kids.
For children, especially young children, a stable household is critical. The lack of social stability produces trauma that lasts a lifetime. Mom loves her children and wants to spare them the emotional trauma, so what is she suppose to do? Spare the children, do not date.
We can even redraw the scenario: the woman is a widow (eliminating the fact that divorce is a lie and dating/remarrying is adultery). So she is free to marry. Does she date? No!
There is an alternative, there is courting. Courting eliminates the emotional up-and-down, it is clean, and it is guarded. Typically there is a third party which facilitates the relationship, accompanying the two when they are together. This gives the two an opportunity to get to know one another without ups-and-downs of romantic involvement. It also makes marriage a rational decision as much as it is an emotional decision, should the two decide to marry.
It this situation, children have a third-party to keep life stable. Should the two part, the loss will be less difficult. And there isn’t the burden of romantic involvement (which is best saved for marriage).
For women (or anyone for that matter) interested in the benefits of courting over dating, Clean Love in Courtship by Fr. Lawrence Lovasik is a must read. His writings are applied more to younger audiences but the message is easily transfered to others, including widows. The link is [here].